What happens when we hold a fixed belief based on our perception? Does it make our position on a matter more right? Does it make our version of the story more accurate? Does it make the conclusions we draw more informed?

In any given situation, does anyone ever hold every single piece of information about all of the factors and circumstances?

In a certain family situation there was an unfolding of events that forever altered the relationship between two parents and two children and siblings. Each family member contributed specific actions and behaviors based upon their own individual lenses and filters including beliefs, perceptions, experiences, knowledge, values, needs, motivations, priorities, emotions and  so on. Not one person in this family setting was working with all the information that was at play for each of the individuals. Yet the fixed beliefs about what happened, the justifications for actions taken; the defensiveness and the blame-towards others and self, remain strong. Including my own.

So what if my perception was to change? Would that mean I had been wrong? And could I hold that view of myself? Or if my perception was to change, what other outcomes might be possible?

Where do you hear a mindset affixed to the belief that a perception cannot be changed? Where do you hear this at work? Or at home? Where do you say it?

You always…

You never…

If you hadn’t…

I had to…

That will never work…

We’ve tried that before…

We’ve always done it this way…

This is just one of their tactics. We’ve seen this before (from government, management, the union…)

It’s too exhausting to continue…

Same shit, different pile.

 

When we say to ourselves, “I am willing to see the situation differently” we commit to withdrawing our preconceived ideas about the situation. The purpose of saying “I am open to looking at this in a new way” is to hold as open a mind as we can so that we don’t define a situation from our past understanding and conclusions about it. We surrender the desire and instinct to bind a particular meaning to our past experiences and interpretations.

And in the process, could there be something new to see and learn? Could there be something beautiful and fresh, hopeful and valuable hidden within this forest of thoughts I have planted around this situation?

Are you in a situation where fixed beliefs and perceptions are keeping a personal or working relationship stuck? If so, mediation can be a great resource for helping parties express their willingness to see things in a new light and find a way forward.

For more information contact me at sueogroske.ca

 

forest

Note: Thanks to A Course in Miracles for inspiring my own reflections on this topic.

When Perception Holds A Fixed Belief

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *